


Hope You Do

by rynsngyl



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Friends With Benefits, M/M, best friends seungyul, seungyul gay, seungyul stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:55:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23227447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynsngyl/pseuds/rynsngyl
Summary: Hangyul's dangerous for Seungyoun, not because he's aggressive or threatening. no, Hangyul's quite the opposite, and that's what makes him so damn dangerous. Soft smiles and compassionate actions fill Seungyoun's heart and his mind.Hangyul's dangerous for Seungyoun, because Seungyoun knows he can't help but be utterly and devastatingly in love with Lee Hangyul.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Lee Hangyul
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	Hope You Do

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this while listening to hope you do by chris brown!! if you havent, you should check out hangyul's dance cover of the song !!!
> 
> ANYWAYS i hope you enjoy!!

Two AM is a time of many emotions.

For some, two AM means parties in the nightlife, a fresh breeze of youth that fills the dark skies and the cups of liquor that they hold in their hands as they party. For others, two AM passes in a flash, because it's the middle of the night and by then, they're long asleep already, and the minutes pass like seconds in the dead of night. 

For Cho Seungyoun, two AM is the perfect time to drown his sorrows with spirits; that is, spirits of alcohol that makes his head spin and his throat burn, the perfect addition to the unholy matrimony that is his self loathing and reflection of his actions.

It's pathetic and not like him to be this in his feelings over anything, usually the charismatic and easy going person that's never really struggled in being able to let go of negative thoughts and live in the moment. But for matters of the heart, it seems like he's struggling to let go of the growing knot of anxiety and fear that slowly accumulates the more he breathes.

_ Love _ . 

A fucking sick joke if you ask him. Love makes people bend the rules of their limits, make people either shine brighter or lose their flame. Love brings people together, but can also bring people to their knees. Love makes people  _ weak _ , and Seungyoun is no exception. 

Because to live is to make mistakes, to make mistakes is to be human, and to be human is to recklessly and unflinchingly, be in love.

He doesn't have to think to know that there's only one person who clouds his thoughts, invades the lonely expanse of his mind when he needs it the most, but also when he needs it the least. 

He knows that the name on his mind is also the name on his lips as he sits in sorrow, careful not to let the syllables slip from his tongue because like the person, he wants to keep the name all to himself, because he's selfish and childishly illogical like that.

Yes, Lee Hangyul is a dangerous man.

Hangyul's dangerous for Seungyoun, not because he's aggressive or threatening. No, Hangyul's quite the opposite, and that's what makes him so damn dangerous. soft smiles and compassionate actions fill Seungyoun's heart and his mind. 

Hangyul's dangerous for Seungyoun, because Seungyoun  _ knows _ he can't help but be utterly and devastatingly in love with Lee Hangyul.

Seungyoun doesn't think twice when it comes to Hangyul in the moment rather, overthinks anything and everything about the younger when he's not around. 

To think that Seungyoun, someone regarded as somewhat a genius, had it in his right mind to become friends with benefits, no,  _ best _ friends with benefits with Hangyul, is absolutely idiotic.

Because best friends don’t fuck like they do, because best friends  _ shouldn’t _ fuck like they do, because it causes the line of their friendship to become muddled, no matter how hard they try to ignore it.

Seungyoun can’t help but think of Hangyul when he’s alone, because Hangyul fills that hole in his heart that he’s always taken pride in, funny how even the ever so confident and flirtatious like Seungyoun can hit rock bottom the moment feelings get involved. 

Perhaps it was doomed from the start, because Seungyoun should have known that Lee Hangyul was going to be the end of him. But all it took was an offer and an innocent smile for Seungyoun to sign his life away to Hangyul.

They’re friends with benefits, but Seungyoun can’t even bring himself to sleep with anyone else, because Hangyul is just so damn  _ perfect _ . No one that he’s ever slept with has the same care, attention, and warmth that Hangyul does.

No one will ever match his body like Hangyul does, and that’s just another reason why Seungyoun’s utterly in love with the younger. How dumb of him to think that he could keep his feelings for Hangyul seperate while they became something a little  _ more _ than best friends.

Cho Seungyoun is a fool. A fool in love.

It’s no surprise that he drinks his despair away at two AM, earlier mixing his liquor to make a divine and foul concoction to throw back without second thoughts, now one hand on a glass of wine, the other on his phone that lights up with notifications even at the early hour.

His mind is clouded, inebriation clear in his mind because the floor is spinning, his heart is spinning, and he thinks he might just do something stupid for the heck of it. The final sip of his wine leaves his lips parched and wanting. The tart aftertaste dancing across his tongue makes his mouth salivate.

The wine helps soothe the burn of his feelings because unlike the bottles of soju that litter his coffee table, it makes him feel like he isn’t doing  _ that _ bad, that he isn’t lying on his sofa like a fool because he can’t handle the feelings for a situation he put himself in. 

It helps him fool himself into thinking that he’s not an absolute mess, because of course, only the refined and put together drink wine, don't they? 

Because he hasn’t spent the evening downing bottles of cheap soju like it’s water, drinking dangerously mixed drinks like juice, and hopes the solitary glass of wine can soothe the scars of his emotions and his own stupidity.

Another ding to his phone makes Seungyoun want to do something he might regret, but he’s a thrill seeker, lives for the chaos. He’s drunk off his ass and his mind is so fucked up, so he doesn’t think twice before he shoots Hangyul a drunk text, before throwing his phone across the room.

He doesn’t know why asking the younger for sex makes him hurt so much, but he knows Hangyul will come, because he  _ always _ does. He ignores that his heart hurts when he hears notifications, presumably from Hangyul, fill the silence of the room.

So he lay on his couch, ignoring the way that tears somehow run down his flushed face as he waits, looking and feeling like a complete and utter mess. It’s hard to breathe when all his emotions suddenly come to the surface and fill his chest, making it difficult to hold down his sobs. 

The glow of his phone from across the room becomes distorted with time. Seungyoun feels like he’s floating or the world is spinning, or a sick combination of both, but he can barely keep his eyes open long enough to wait for Hangyul’s arrival.

_ It’s fine _ , he thinks, because Hangyul has the keys to his house and they keys to his heart, because Hangyul will come barrelling through the door like the adorable mess he is no matter what the circumstances.

As the world around him becomes a swirling mess of mindless thoughts and blurry lights that dance across his vision, Seungyoun lets his eyes close, tendrils of darkness winning the battle against his own will to stay awake.

Somewhere along the lines, Seungyoun’s no longer sprawled across the couch, but settled in the confines of his own bed, with Hangyul’s comforting warmth against him. And it brings up the question, why  _ aren’t _ they fucking? Isn’t that what friends with benefits are for?

But it seems as Hangyul wakes up at the same time that he does, already catching on to his thoughts and already ready to quell his turbulent emotions. A confused look at the younger's face is all it takes for Hangyul to understand what Seungyoun wants.

Seungyoun wants Hangyul. He wants to feel all of Hangyul inside of him, he wants to feel Hangyul's lips against his as they kiss in the darkness of the night. He wants to feel Hangyul's skin against his, to feel the way they brush against each other's sensitive and most private parts.

And he knows that Hangyul can feel the lust in his gaze, see the want dripping from his lips, but Hangyu, the ever so kind angel that his, merely leaves him with a lazy kiss on the forehead that sends Seungyoun into shambles.

He isn't supposed to want Hangyul as something more than friends. He's only allowed to be with Hangyul as friends with benefits, only allowed to indulge himself in the sinful pleasures of their bodies connected.

It’s easy to throw his morals away and indulge in lust, easy for him to call Hangyul over whenever he wants for a little fun in the sheets, easy to throw his head back in pleasure and gasp as Hangyul thrusts inside him.

But one kiss is enough to make Seungyoun's mind reel, because one kiss makes him remember just how much he loves Hangyul, makes him remember just how all of Hangyul's soft features and loving gestures make him want to cry out and confess, except that he's a fucking fool and he just  _ can't. _

Seungyoun hopes that he can drown in Hangyul’s river, sink deep in the ocean of Hangyul’s touch and his passion. His hands play with the hem of Hangyul’s shirt, asking‒ no,  _ pleading _ ‒ for Hangyul to oblige in his request, hoping the little fingers that dance across the younger’s abs can do all the talking for Seungyoun.

He wants to take their clothes off, leave their bodies and emotions bare as Hangyul  _ saves _ him from his own emotions. He wants Hangyul to press him into the bed and fuck him into the sheets without mercy so that he can forget the way his heart hurts, and then he wants Hangyul to kiss him softly and be soft with him so that he can pretend like they’re making love.

And maybe there’s something in their best friend connection that gives them the somewhat uncanny ability to be able to wordlessly communicate, bodies and actions always clear and easy to interpret, because once again, Hangyul  _ knows _ , and large hands come to grasp at Seungyoun’s.

His grip is soft yet commanding and Seungyoun can already feel the  _ ‘no’  _ that’s connected to his actions. It makes his heart drop, pulling his hands from Hangyul’s as he recoils from his touch.

It hurts to be rejected like this, when he’s so deep in his despair and sorrow that only Hangyul can pull him out of this swamp of negative emotions and doubt.

Hangyul’s concerned, handsome face looking as flawless as ever even as his eyebrows furrow in distinct confusion at Seungyoun’s reaction, obviously trying to figure Seungyoun out. 

The look on Hangyul’s face makes him sick to his stomach, because Seungyoun’s mind fills in the gaps for him, fills in the narrative of whatever Hangyul’s thinking with his own rendition of what he  _ thinks _ Hangyul is wondering.

Seungyoun curses himself because no matter how how well they can understand each other’s body language and feelings, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to convey the love that fills his soul and his every move.

So he gives Hangyul a fake, sickeningly sweet smile and turns the other way, away from Hangyul, so that he can pretend like he isn't drunk out of his mind, like he isn't lying next to the love of his life but can't even tell him that he loves him.

He puts his face in the pillow and makes sure to press his face deep,ignoring the way Hangyul tries to get him to turn around, to get them to face each other.

Seungyoun’s had enough pain for the day, and he knows that once again, he’s done this to himself: he called over Hangyul for sex when his heart wasn’t ready for confrontation, while his mind was high and blurred from the alcohol, thinking that Hangyul would give him what he wanted and erase his pain.

He fucked himself over, so it's only natural that he must reap what he’s sown and face the consequences.

Seungyoun holds his breath and almost drowns himself in his pillow, so that his cries are muffled from Hangyul, so that it becomes harder and harder to breathe, so that he can wallow in his sadness and know that even if he can be the most intimate person in Hangyul's life as his best friend and friend with benefits, he'll  _ never  _ be able to get Hangyul to love him at all.

.

.

.

Two AM is Seungyoun being a complete mess, a drunk fool in love who can only drink away his pain and rely on the burn of the alcohol to make the burn of his unrequited feelings sting less.

Three AM is Hangyul tiptoeing his way into Seungyoun's apartment to clean up the aftermath of Seungyoun's pity party, before carrying his beloved hyung's body to bed, gingerly tucking him into the sheets.

Four AM is Seungyoun tears staining the pillows, because he's a coward, and even though he hates the way he's ruined himself, he can't help but not be in love with Lee Hangyul.

Five AM is the two of them, in bed, bodies intertwined with each other, because if Seungyoun's stuck in Hangyul's inescapable gravity, then Hangyul's always been attracted to Seungyoun like a moth to a blazing flame.

Six AM is the two of them waking up and acting like nothing ever happened between them, 

and life goes on.

**Author's Note:**

> hi im sorry but please comment uwu!! 
> 
> and if you want to request any prompts or just wanna become friends (pls) you can dm me on twitter @hangyuwu (personal) or @rynsngyl (writing acc)
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!


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